Fear is a Bad Value
by ZetaGecko | 2 Comments | The Universe
I was watching a video of a business consultation my bother (the lawyer) did with a local businessman recently. One of the things he said was that fear is always a bad value.
Sometimes people say that fear is good when it keeps you from doing dumb things. And that's true. But the point is that fear is never a good focus.
If the guiding principle of your life is to avoid making mistakes, you're not likely to have much success. Because the path to success generally passes through a number of mistakes.
Today, Ray Edwards wrote:
I’m no longer asking myself the questions I asked in the old days.
Questions like, “What if I say something stupid? What if I have broccoli in my teeth, or what if they don’t like me?â€
Those are lousy questions.
Yep. Fear is a lousy value. Sure, don't do dumb things. But keep your focus on the positive possibilities, not on keeping the things you fear at bay.
August 21st, 2012 at 7:29 am
I want to add one more layer of thought to this blog, because eliminating fear is not enough.
There is an active fear response and a passive fear response. If a person who is acting out of fear tries to eliminate fear, they may just become passive. In other words, they may engage in avoidance and have even more difficulty dealing with their circumstances.
There are two positive replacements for fear: (1) assertiveness and (2) love. Both involve taking action to achieve something of value. It can be (1) something beneficial to you or (2) something MUTUALLY beneficial to BOTH you and someone with whom you have a relationship.
There are two way to actively eliminate fear. First, have the courage to do something that is right, even if it is difficult. Or second, learn something and apply it. Use your mind to do something better.
Change your focus to acting on your positive values. Fear will disappear automatically, because something more powerful has taken its place.
August 25th, 2012 at 11:05 am
Seth Godin expressed the same idea a little differently here:
http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2012/06/whats-on-your-list.html
When you "consult the list", you're valuing fear.