The electronic crystal ball has shown me two words: "blot fold". I see a something that looks like a two headed cow...or is it a vase? We'll go with my first answer. The future becomes clear.

The U.S. Department of Agriculture has indicated that it will increase testing for mad cow disease up to twelve-fold....
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The electronic crystal ball has shown me two words: "cornwall overhead". I see a yellow ceiling, covered with little bumps. Butter is dripping from it, and it smells delicious! I quit daydreaming and look back into the crystal ball. I see something decidedly not delicious. It looks like a giant slug, and it's eating all...
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The electronic crystal ball has shown me two words: "pedicab gout". Ugh! I click "search again". It shows me "Lusaka acquisition". Sounds a little more pleasant. I see an African city...ah, Lusaka is a city. I see money money money! I'm sure glad I clicked "search again"! The future becomes clear...in a round about way....
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The electronic crystal ball has shown me two words: "infernal geologist". I see nothing. It shows me two more: "enormous Calvin". I see a Christian church, a political leader, and something difficult to make out. The lines become more distinct. It's a comic strip character. The future becomes clear.

A contest will be held to...
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The electronic crystal ball has shown me two words: "giant sponge". I see radio waves (they're generally much thicker and more frizzy around the edges than I had imagined). I see children. I see money! The future becomes clear.

Inspired by current events and a number of radio and television programs, the FCC will unveil...
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The electronic crystal ball has shown me two words: "I'm unified". I see a wedding ceremony. I see the groom, but where is the bride? There is none. The future becomes clear.

Spurred on by the gay marriages performed recently in San Francisco, the City's schizophrenic population will demand the right to marriages between their...
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The electronic crystal ball has shown me the future. I see two words: "quantity" and "taking". The inner voice points me to the cosmos. I see a red dot. It grows larger. It is Mars. I see two robots rolling across the Martian landscape. They are madly photographing every rock they come across from 20...
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Last night while playing games with friends, I had a movie idea: show the adventures of a female version of Indiana Jones. Naturally, her name would be a state: Carolina, Dakota, Virginia...then I came up with Georgia, and realized that rather than Georgia Jones, it would have to be Sweet Georgia Jones. The name evoked...
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I have a plan for an interest free investment opportunity. Here's how it works:

* A small amount of money is deducted from each paycheck to be invested--that way you don't feel like you're paying anything, because you never see it in the first place.

* Every 3, 6 or 12 months, you can cash...
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I had another idea for a TV show, inspired by the fact that people who do dumb things (think Monica Lewinsky, for example) end up benefiting from the publicity the stupidity garners. "Milosevic in the Morning" would a morning talk show hosted by Slobodan Milosevic. He would discuss world news with other deposed tyrants, demonstrate...
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