The package for my son's diapers says "22-37 lbs", but there is absolutely no way they could hold that much stuff without leaking!

Rather than simply dropping the Hubble Space Telescope out of orbit and letting it burn up in the atmosphere, NASA should pull it into the the space shuttle's bay on its next flight, bring it back to earth, and sell it, piece by piece, on eBay!

Feng Shui, the Chinese art of arranging furniture so that it directs the energy flow in a room, is all the rage these days. Politicians have long practiced a related art: Deng Shui (pronounced "dung shway")--the art of framing a discussion so that when the mud slinging begins ("mud" being a euphamism here...), the filth...
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You wouldn't think that offending your target audience would be a good marketing strategy...but then you're reading this, aren't you? I figure whats' good for monstrous corporations has got to be good for a little weblog, right? So following the lead of beer brewers, I've decided to expose my readers for the dopes they are....
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If parodies of copyrighted material a protected under fair use, perhaps an entire company could be a parody of another. Think Macrohard, with their operating system Doors. The icons are all doors which, when clicked, open half way and then slam shut, turn blue, and stop working till the computer is rebooted.

Think Moon Macrochaos,...
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With the growing popularity (right?) of Nascar, it's only a matter or time before the offshoots start appearing. Nasbus, or stock bus racing, could be the World Wrestling Federation of the speedway world. Imagine a track full (yes, probably completely full, if they allow the same number of vehicles) of school buses, speeding, bumping and...
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Move over Yu-Gi-Oh! Make way for Yo-Gi-Ohs! What are Yo-Gi-Ohs? I'll show you.

Yo-Gi-Ohs are one of my son's breakfast meals. They're made by mixing one part yogurt with one part Cheerios. Vary quantities randomly or according to whim

I've figured out where all those socks go that mysteriously disappear in the laundry--they are transformed into bolts and appears in boxes with unassembled barbeque grills.

What we need is a trojan performer who gets up to a level where they get to perform an entire song without getting cut off, and then one day they come in with a song about how Simon is a jerk, or how they're proud to have incited the rudest comment he ever made.

In...
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Here's a copy of an email I sent to Car Talk a little bit back:

If you are going to continue recommending the Dope Slap on a regular basis, it behooves you to offer a tutorial covering basic dope slapping techniques. For example:

The irritating dope slap is used to simply annoy the harmless dope....
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