“Blot fold”: New test for mad cow disease
by ZetaGecko | Add Your Comments | The Divined Comedy
The electronic crystal ball has shown me two words: "blot fold". I see a something that looks like a two headed cow...or is it a vase? We'll go with my first answer. The future becomes clear.
The U.S. Department of Agriculture has indicated that it will increase testing for mad cow disease up to twelve-fold. One of the tests that may be used is called "Western blot". This much you can learn without a crystal ball.
In the crystal ball, I see that "fold" does not refer to "twelve-fold", and "blot" does not refer to "Western blot". Rather, both refer to an ink-blot test using patterns created by folding ink-streaked paper in half. I foresee cows supine on the pet psychic's sofa looking at ink blots. Those that consistantly moo with greater excitement when shown patterns that look like pokemon trading cards than when shown patterns that look like alfalfa fields will be labeled mad and confined at an institution for treatment. Beef prices and taxes will skyrocket as thousands of cows are interred and construction costs for new facilities spiral out of control.
Can this future be avoided? Considering that this entire vision is based on my decision to interpret the psychic ink-blot as a two headed cow and not a vase, there's a 50-50 chance that what the future will actually bring is a new test for the authenticity of Ming pottery.